well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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