I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
