is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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