Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
