he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
