didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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