i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize