I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
