I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am full of burrito and curiosity
This house was built for laser tag.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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