You're my little dorito
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
