trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
