when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
