my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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