Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My penis needs a shock collar
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
