Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
