I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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