i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
