Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Terrible idea I love it
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
