what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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