the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
