how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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