I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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