break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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