worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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