the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
