i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
