u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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