Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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