I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
