How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My pussy is not your playground.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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