Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
