We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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