Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
