Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
