the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
