Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
