elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
