mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
