I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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