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its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
