No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
