We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
