No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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