forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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