my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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