She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
