I wish I could punch you in the face.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
