how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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