That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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