Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She bit a glass in half.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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