the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize