im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize