The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize