In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
