Yo dont text me then not text me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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