I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
