I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
