i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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