Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
