I just pynch a tree in the face
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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