It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
