He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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